Short Shorts and Food Fights
by mahlia
Summary: Wally shows the team exactly why guys wearing short shorts is no longer a fashionable trend, despite his very shapely legs. Collaboration with BanannaSlapz517.
1. Wally's First Pair

This is in response to The Ultimate Collab Challenge for April, over at Grimmy's YJ forum. The prompt this month was _short shorts_. We immediately thought back to our days in track, where we had to wear those ridiculous shorts.

It's rated K. We don't own anything and we don't profit from any of this.

So without further adieu, **BanannaSlapz517** and I proudly present _Short Shorts and Food Fights_.

* * *

><p>"Mom! Dad! Mom! Dad! Mom-" the boy was interrupted by a pair of arms that snagged his shoulders from behind and twirled him around.<p>

"Forgetting someone?" his captor asked, a small smile twitching on her lips. Wally grinned back at her, dropping the medal back down onto his chest as he embraced his aunt.

"Aunt Iris! What are you doing here?"

"Division Championships, Wally! I wouldn't miss it for the world."

He laughed, pushing away from her. "Did you see me?"

She smiled back, even more delighted by his infectious mood. "Of course I did. Everyone did. You won the mile run! Not bad for a sixth grader."

"Not bad! Did you see my race? That was the best mile I've ever run in my life!"

"And you're not tired yet? I don't know how you do it."

"Course I'm tired, Aunt Iris. My legs kinda hurt, too. But look!" he grabbed the red, white, and blue ribbon on his chest, displaying the twirling golden circle in the middle.

"That's fantastic, Wally!"

"I know! I won! I won I won I won I won I won! Gold medal!" If possible, his smile grew wider. "You know what they're calling me? The Golden Ginger."

That made her pause. "What?"

"You know," he pointed to his head. "My hair. And I'm the fastest. Golden. Ginger. Yellow. Red. My new colors."

"I got it the first time," she said, slightly perplexed. Then again, who was she to judge the minds of eleven-year-old boys? "But if you don't mind, I think I'll stick with Wally."

He laughed. "No problem. Hey, have you seen my parents? They have my stuff." He tugged at the Blue Valley uniform self-consciously. "This is really itchy. And the shorts are too short."

She paused before answering. _Well, Barry had offered. No going back now_. "I think I saw them farther out near the parking lot. But while you're here, Wally, I want to give you something."

He looked up at her curiously. Boy, was he a sight. Red hair dampened with sweat, completely clashing with the uncomfortable-looking track uniform. "Really?" he asked, eyeing her purse hanging by her side. "What?"

"Well, it's more of telling you something, for now. I know you've kind of outgrown this stage, but…remember the Flash?"

He rolled his eyes at his aunt's naivety. "Aunt Iris, there was no way I was going _that _fast."

She snorted. "That's not what I meant, Wally. This was a really special day for you and I was wondering if, for a reward, you wanted to meet him?"

She watched as his breath caught in his throat. For all of his acting grown up, he couldn't hide his excitement. _Yes_, she thought, satisfied, _I am the best aunt ever_. "Really?" he squeaked, one hand squeezing the gold medal.

She wanted to laugh again, but tried not to for his sake. "One on one," she added, smiling as his eyes widened.

"But…but…how?"

"Barry talked to him. He works in the police department, that's how they know each other." Seeing his still confused look, she added, "Barry. Remember Barry? My-"

"Let me guess," he interrupted, "Another boyfriend?"

"Wally!" she exclaimed. "He's my fiancé!"

He paused. "What that? Is that the – oh. Wait. You're getting married. Yeah, I remember him." He looked up at her with a guilty smile. "I'm in the ceremony, aren't I?"

She sighed, ruffling his hair. "Yes, you are. And, Wally, do you think you can keep the thing about the Flash visiting between you and me?"

"Sure!" he exclaimed. "Anything! This is so cool!"

"You earned it," she replied. "That's some medal."

"It is pretty awesome, isn't it?" He said, looking down at it again. "Hey, do you know that song? Weeeeeee are the champions, my fri-eeeeeends."

"You sing it."

"Um," he paused, "Ba da da, LONG live- wait, no- NO TIME for LOSERS cuz WE are the CHAMPIONS-"

"You missed a couple lines," she said calmly, ignoring the people turning to stare at his shouts.

"OF THE WORLD!" He took off skipping down the sidewalk, waving the gold medal in multiple people's faces. Iris smiled as her nephew spotted his parents and took off running. "Look, look, look, look, I won, I won, Mom! Dad! Mom! Dad! Come Look! I got a medal!"


	2. Wally's Second Pair

A/N: Still rated K. Still doesn't belong to BanannaSlapz517 or me.

* * *

><p>"What time are we going to the water park today?" Wally asked, cracker crumbs falling out of his mouth as he spoke. Artemis cringed as some of them landed in her soup.<p>

"We aren't leaving for another two hours because it isn't open yet, you slob," she said, pushing her bowl away, her appetite vanishing.

"You going to eat that?" Wally pointed to her bowl with his spoon. Robin snickered from across the table at the expression on her face as Artemis shook her head in disgust. She reached to pull her spoon from the bowl just as Wally pulled it toward him. Her spoon slipped, landing back in the bowl with a thick 'plop'. She watched in surprise as half of the remaining soup splashed from the bowl directly into Wally's lap.

"Come ON! This was the only pair of shorts and they're my favorite pair!" He shoved his chair back from the table and they all watched as soup ran from his shorts down his legs, pooling on the floor at his feet.

"If you hadn't grabbed the bowl you wouldn't have spilled it, you dope," Artemis said, grabbing the nearly-empty bowl and her spoon. She put them in the sink and rinsed off her hands. "It's your own fault."

Superboy ignored all of them and went back to eating his sandwich. Megan and Kaldur exchanged curious looks, both of them wondering who was going to snap first. Robin took a massive bite of his own grilled cheese sandwich, smiling while Wally glared at Artemis' back. His brows arched in surprise behind his sunglasses as Wally picked up his grilled cheese and looked at it for a moment before grinning and hurling it across the room.

Robin paused mid-bite as the sandwich sailed past his face and nailed Artemis square in the cheek. Kaldur dropped his apple, the half-eaten piece of fruit bouncing to the floor.

"You…" she wiped the grease off her face and stared at Wally. Robin held up the rest of his sandwich to Artemis, who smiled gratefully as she took it. Wally's jaw dropped slightly when he realized what she was going to do.

The sandwich bounced harmlessly off the fridge, leaving a greasy smudge on the door. Wally had plenty of time to dodge it and was standing next to Robin, smiling arrogantly as she looked for something else to throw. Robin shoved a handful of crackers down Wally's shirt, earning a high-five from Artemis. Kaldur tossed a piece of bread crust at Megan, smiling as it landed in her lap. She flicked a handful of grapes back at him telepathically, giggling as he batted them away.

Superboy, wanting to join the fun, picked up his entire bowl of soup and heaved it at Wally.

"Superboy, don't!" Robin cried. Wally turned at Robin's excited outburst, only to have a bowl knock him square in the chest. The impact knocked him backwards and he came to rest against the counter with a painful grunt. Everybody froze and glanced from Superboy to Wally, who was now covered in two bowls of soup.

"DUDE! Who throws their _bowl_ in a food fight?" Wally yelled, picking noodles out of his hair. "It's called a 'food fight' for a reason! You throw FOOD, not dinnerware!" He rubbed the sore spot on his chest.

Superboy just shrugged and leaned over to pick up the bowl. "I never realized food fights had so many rules."

"Man, now I have to do laundry." Wally tugged at the hem of his shirt, watching as the chicken broth joined the tomato soup on the floor at his feet.

"I learned how," Megan said. "I can do it for you."

"What? Oh, ok." Wally peeled the soggy shirt off and handed it to Megan. "I'll give you my shorts after I wash their lunches off me."

After Wally left, Artemis let loose the laugh she'd been smothering. Robin joined her, as did Megan. Kaldur even cracked a smile.

"I guess we should start calling _him _'Soupy'." They all stopped laughing and looked at Kaldur, completely stunned at the joke. He shrugged. "What, I can't make a joke?"

Superboy snorted loudly as he turned toward the sink to wash his dishes.

An hour later, they were sitting in the living room watching TV. Superboy made a motion to get up, but Megan stopped him.

"Is the dryer done?"

"Yeah, the timer just went off."

"I'll go get it, since the stuff is mine anyway." Wally waved them both off and disappeared. Robin and Artemis looked at each other when they heard a frustrated yell echo down the hallway. Robin stood and sighed.

"I wonder what happened now," he muttered. He wandered down the hallway, finding the laundry room empty. "Hey! Wally! Where'd you go?"

"I'm in my room," Wally hollered in reply.

"What are you doing in..." Robin nudged the door open with his foot, immediately coming to a halt once he saw what the speedster was doing. "Oh, dude. Warn me next time, would you?" He turned his head away and held up a hand to block the sight in front of him.

Wally stood in the middle of his room tugging at the hem of a pair of _very_ short shorts. The shorts, which had previously hung just at his knees, now barely reached the middle of his thighs. And instead of them being slightly on the baggy side, they now fit more like Spandex bike shorts.

"This SO isn't funny! What am I going to wear to the water park now? It's almost ninety degrees outside and all I have are these," he cried, gesturing to his grey sweatpants draped over the chair. He glanced up in horror and Robin turned when they heard a knock on the door frame.

Artemis' eyes widened and she choked back a laugh. "Are those the shorts you were wearing earlier?" She bit her lip as she saw WAY more of Wally than she wanted to.

Wally simply glared at her in response and turned back to Robin, who was digging through another dresser drawer.

"You've got to have something in here." He reached to the back of the drawer, pulling out a bright blue pair of shorts. "Try these," he said and tossed them to Wally.

"I can't wear these, I wore these for track when I was eleven." He held them up by the waist band, the Blue Valley logo still clearly visible on the right leg. "As awesome as they are, they wouldn't even fit _you_."

"Hey, I resent that," Robin said indignantly.

"Just try them on, Wally. You never know. We'll be out in the living room when you're ready," Artemis said quickly, grabbing Robin's elbow and pulling him out into the hallway.

A few minutes later, the redhead poked his head into the living room. Artemis glanced up, a wide grin instantly lighting up her face. "So? How do they fit?"

"I'm definitely not wearing these," he muttered, stepping into the room. He pulled and tugged at the bright blue fabric, as if it would help. They were obviously shorts meant for running, with the wider leg and short hem, aside from the obvious logo. But fashionable shorts they were not.

"You could wear them, short shorts are back in style now," Robin suggested helpfully.

Wally looked at Robin, horrified. They came more than halfway up his thighs and looked barely large enough to even fit Robin, as he had suspected earlier. "Yeah, maybe in Europe where they also wear banana-hammocks for swimming. These are ridiculous!"

"C'mon, KF, they aren't that bad. They show off your shapely legs."

"Shut up, _shortpants_. Your vote doesn't count, considering your _fondness _for short shorts. Green ones, if I remember correctly." Robin's face morphed into shock and Wally grinned, successfully shifting the attention away from himself.

"Wait, Robin wears them, too?" Artemis glanced over at Robin, whose murderous glare was directed at Wally.

"What do you mean, 'wears them too'? I don't wear short shorts! This was an accident!" Wally shot back defensively. Artemis held up her hands in an attempt to calm him down. He glanced at Robin and they made eye contact, a mischievous glint in his eye. "He used to…"

"You wouldn't dare," Robin interrupted him. His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You promised you would never mention…"

"You should really check out the Wikipedia page someone made about Robin. It's got pictures and everything." Wally smirked, proud of himself for distracting the attention from his tiny pair of shorts.

Artemis and Superboy took off for the study, racing to see who could get to the computer first to dig up dirt on the younger half of the Dynamic Duo. Megan hurried after them, more curious than anything. Kaldur remained where he stood, arms crossed over his chest, eyebrow arched skeptically.

"If I leave this room, do both of you promise not to start fighting?" Both teens nodded hesitantly. "Ok, then." He glanced at both of them once more before heading back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up after the food fight.

Wally looked down at the teeny pair of blue shorts , running his fingers over the fabric. "I wore these shorts when I was a kid, the first time I won a race," he said softly, remembering his first place finish and meeting the Flash. Out of nowhere, Robin tackled him from the side, knocking both of them over the back of the couch onto the floor, the couch tipping over with them.

"What the hell, Rob! C'mon, it was only a joke!"

"I told you this would happen if you ever brought that up again," he said, grunting as he put Wally in a headlock.

"No, you said you would kick my ass. This totally doesn't qualify as an ass-kicking." He popped his head out of the headlock and gave him a playful shove. "I have to be here for you to kick my ass." He grinned, saluted Robin and disappeared.

"You're a DICK, Wally!" Robin called out, grinning from ear to ear, knowing something his teammates didn't. They would never find the Wikipedia page Wally mentioned because it no longer existed. He'd made sure of that after Wally found it the first time.

"Are we still going to the water park?" Robin yelled.

"Not if I don't have shorts to wear," Wally replied, walking back into the room. He gestured to the sweatpants he was holding. "Not exactly suitable water park attire." Superboy appeared behind Wally and sighed deeply.

"If it means you quit whining about 'short shorts', you can borrow a pair of mine, ok?" Wally's face lit up.

"Thanks, Supey!"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't mention it. Let's go get them so we can get out of here already."

"Hey, Supey?"

"What now, Wally?"

"Why didn't you bring this up earlier? It would have saved me from having to parade around in these ridiculous shorts."

"Where's the fun in that?"

Wally stopped walking and stared after Superboy, his mouth agape.

"C'mon, Wally. Unless you really _want_ to wear those shorts?"

Wally grumbled to himself and followed his teammate down the hall, passing the study on their way. An incredibly loud wolf whistle startled him, the sound of Artemis giggling immediately following the whistle.

"Oh, come ON!" Wally whined. "They aren't THAT bad!"

* * *

><p>So there you have it. Short shorts and the YJ gang. We hope you enjoyed it!<p> 


End file.
